Balance Work Life? What a joke!

By PPC Mom

Maintaining a balance in your work and family life is essential.

Not many people would disagree with me on that point. However, it’s the implementation of this idea that is difficult.

It is easy to lose focus when we are out of balance. The Internet marketers that I know work harder than most traditional employees. Many of us work full time jobs outside the home, then begin our internet marketing activities after hours. There is this image of the internet marketing lifestyle: fancy cars, big houses, long vacations, etc. While those benefits certainly can be a reality, the work that goes on behind the scenes is hidden to most of the world.

For those of you who work outside the home, finding a balance is important too. Life-work balance is now considered to be the second most important driver in employee attraction and commitment ahead of compensation. Importantly, people who work for companies that understand this blanace work twenty-one per cent harder.

Many of you are stay-at-home parents with young children. This situation presents unique challenges. Children have needs that are immediate and unwavering. Often I am in the middle of a webinar or conference call and I have to run to attend to a scraped knee, a crying child, or an all-out brawl over the TV remote!

We are tired!

It can be exhausting trying to accomplish everything we need (or want) to do in a 24 hour period.

The preoccupation with work-life balance is no surprise in today’s busy existence. Gone are the days when leaving the office meant actually leaving work behind. Blackberries, laptops, iPhones, Twitter and Facebook mean our availability and our access to work topics is constant. This easily gets out of control.

The consequences of all this, not surprisingly, is more stress, ill-health and exhaustion. Women especially have greater opportunity, higher levels of achievement, more influence and financial independence yet face increasing levels of depression.

Personally, I find it nearly impossible to balance my life.

I started this process a few months ago when I began thinking about balance. What do we mean by “balance”? What does it even mean to balance work and life?

Does that mean I spend equal amounts of time working and playing? Or does it mean I feel a vague sense of satisfaction with my life? I don’t know what it means for you. I do know that by my definition, my life is way out of balance.

I’m out of balance. Is that bad?

Who cares if I am out of balance? I am passionate about what I do. I love my job. I don’t want to do anything else. When I am resting, I am thinking about new marketing ideas, new ways to promote my websites, new PPC ad headlines and images to test, blog post topics, and new opportunities. Even when I am resting, my mind is racing with possibility. I am excited and pleased with my accomplishments thus far and I’m eager to get stuck into the next big project!

The other part of the story is that I am a mother of three young boys. I love my kids and I love spending time with them. I don’t want them to remember their mother as the lady who had her nose in the computer 24/7. I am a wife, a friend, a sister, and so many other things to so many people.

How am I meant to find “balance” between my excitement and passion for online marketing with the joy and love of being a good friend, wife, and mother?

I’ve done some research into this topic and I’d like to share it here with you.

7 Secrets to Balance Work Life

1) What are you passionate about?

We leak energy and become drained and frustrated when we get into a pattern of pleasing others and living in accordance with their standards rather than our own.

  • Are you clear of your motives and your underlying passions and purpose in life?
  • What are your values and are they in sync with your actions?
  • Are you being truly authentic and speaking your truth?

Getting clarity on what you truly want from your life is the first critical step to leading a more balanced and meaningful existence.

2) Who is influencing you?

  • Are you supported by your peers, colleagues and clients?
  • Do you have true friends who have your best interests at heart?
  • Are you in the right environment to best utilise your talents and skills?
  • Do you have a personal development plan or life/business coach to provide objective guidance?

3) What are you saying to yourself?

There is substantial evidence that the way we think can have a profound and a lasting effect on our mood and motivation levels. If you are one of life’s pessimists then you will need to re-program your thoughts to expect the best – not the worst - and to swap those habits for more encouraging self talk. Focus on what has been going well rather than how far you are from your goals. See obstacles as opportunities, remain flexible and open to possibilities. Recognising and being grateful for what you have is a great way of getting things in perspective.

4) Listen to your body

Self care is essential to restore and maintain well-being and balance

  • Are you sleeping well?
  • What are your eating habits?
  • How would you describe your energy levels?

Taking time to exercise and look after yourself is an essential component to balanced living.Listen to your intuition as it never lets us down and provides the subtle nudges to move us in the direction that is right for us.

5) Set healthy boundaries

Real life and business can be integrated but that does not mean you need to give up your privacy. You need boundaries so you can feel generous without feeling depleted and available without feeling drained.

One trick that works for me is to get a kitchen timer and use it to set limits for myself. On the weekends, I will set the timer for 45 minutes and I will work to accomplish as much as possible during that time. When the timer rings, I go and play with my kids, bake a cake, do something fun. Then I can go back to work knowing that I have spent some quality time with my family, building memories to last a lifetime.

6) “Start to Profit”

My friend and mentor, Lynn Terry, has a catch phrase “From Start to Profit” which means to stick with one idea until it makes a profit. Too often we start projects and don’t finish them. This leaves us with an uneasy feeling that we have so many projects on the go and none of them are near completion. The stress this creates can be enormous. Instead, take Lynn’s advice and focus on one project at a time. Then follow that project through to completion. This takes patience and tenacity, but it’s worth it in the long run.

7) Keep the end in mind

Although this may seem morbid, it has helped me keep my priorities straight many times. Keep the end in mind. What do you want to be remembered for? Do you want to be the guy/girl who made the most money? Had the best car? Built the best website?

Clearly identify what your purpose is, and follow that purpose.

When I am on track and aligned with my purpose, I have more energy, more enthusiasm, more positivitiy than I could possibly use. It’s a great feeling to be “in the zone”! Try to get yourself in the zone and stay there, loving life, working hard towards your goals, and living with joy.

Does this mean there is no way to balance work and life? Maybe a better phrase is to “integrate” your work with your life.

That’s the way I see it. What about you? Add to the discussion in the section below…

Categories : My Life
  • Kat Hudson
    holy moly.... I am a mum to an 18 month old and started a website in Oct - womens web marketing - i went around in circles a bit trying to achieve some kind of a balance and focus - it is SUCH A CHALLENGE!!  I am only just managing to get some kind of a routine and schedule - however it's a constant battle to stay on top of it!! so good to read articles like this and know i am not alone!!

    thanks for this!
    x Kat
  • PpcJen
    You are not alone, Kat! :)
    In my experience, true balance is unattainable. We're always moving. Things
    shift as time goes on and priorities change. It's a constant battle for many
    of us.
    I just try to remember what is most important over the long term. Will it
    matter that the laundry is piled up all weekend? No. Will it matter that I
    miss my son's gymnastics competition? Yes. Priorities are the key.

    Glad you found this helpful!
  • Love it and agree 100%. Created a product for the driving need of this demand. I am in the financial business and experienced clients coming in and having a little money, yet still not happy. Money won't make you happy, lack of money will definitely make you unhappy however!
    Discover you passion, maintain health and energy, and have enough money to enjoy both.
    Lets talk sometime, could be a synergy.
  • PpcJen
    Thanks John. I agree.
    Striving for balance is unrealistic and causes more frustration than it's
    worth, in my opinion. Embrace the natural flow of life and accept that you
    won't always have equal amounts of time for everything. Looking forward to
    chatting more about this! - Jen
  • Nicole
    Hey Jennifer, you seem to really have created a successful internet business in addition to all the family life aswell, how many hours on average a day or week would you spend on your business?
  • PpcJen
    HI Nicole, I work full time online. My hours and days are flexible, so I can
    be available for most things my kids need. I absolutely love what I do and
    I'm very passionate about it. This doesn't feel like work to me. It would be
    difficult to compare that to a traditional job. :) What about you? Are you
    working online or offline right now? - Jen
  • Hi,

    I think you are such an amazing rolemodel for me and my work/family balance, as a mom in the internet marketing business it is good to have sheroes.

    You are mine today,

    Thank you!

    Ilse (Ilspiration- www.ilspiration.com - in Swedish ;-))
  • PpcJen
    Thank you Lise, for taking the time to comment.
    It isn't easy to manage all the different aspects of our lives. That's why I
    prefer to keep things in perspective instead of constantly striving to
    achieve balance.
    Hope you have a fantastic day! - Jennifer (PpcMom)
  • Carolyn Odonohue
    It does seem pretty hard to find a balance in life, that's for sure.

    I feel like where a lot of my time goes, is in just wasting time. Where I could be doing something, I am either watching tv, or sitting in front of the computer surfing the net.

    The real barrier in my life, is I have a lot of clutter. So there is a lot of procrastination in my life generally. Nothing seems to get done.

    I have a few hobbies that I would like to be able to do, but they don't get done - because of the clutter. It goes like this - "Gee, I would like to do some drawing, painting, reading, jigsaw puzzles etc., but I can't because I really need to get rid of all that clutter first."

    Then, I take a look at the piles of clutter around the floor in my bedroom and other rooms, get overwhelmed, don't know where to start - so I don't. Believe me, it's a vicious circle, it really is.

    I instinctively know, that once I have removed all the clutter, my life will really proceed ahead at a rapid speed, but still I can't seem to start. It is over 20 years worth of clutter. Not junk, just stuff I have bought over the years, that I have nowhere to put. It seems woeful to me. It really does get me down and saps my energy on a regular basis, not to mention my husband's energy as well.

    I think I will try what you have said in the article on this page about the 7 secrets to balance work life. Especially where it said about setting the kitchen timer to do each work task for a set period of time, then stop and do something fun.

    That's exactly what my life is missing at the moment, not enough fun on a regular basis.

    Thanks very much for this great article.

    Carolyn O'Donohue.
  • HI Carolyn - Have you heard of the Fly Lady? She has about a gazillion free resources to help with exactly what you've described. VERY useful!! You'll find her here --> http://www.FlyLady.net - Let me know what you think.
  • mike1144
    finding true balance some time seems too difficult
    well thanks fo this loving post
    mike
  • This is especially true when you are starting your own business.

    You're not working 9-5 anymore and doing whats expected of you. You work for yourself and have to do whatever it takes to succeed, even if that means spending 15 hrs a day on the computer.
  • Great article - it is soooo hard to find anything that vaguely represents a balance!

    I work from home with my "real" job and am passionate about my internet "stuff" too - it gives me a lot of flexibility but it is not always balanced. With both areas, I have worked hard to get things up and running. And the more successful I am the less time I have. I am working towards a slightly more "automated" model.. just not too sure when that will kick in!
  • Great insights... talking about work/life balance, did you see that recent post where a whole bunch on top blogger talked about how many hours they worked? Pretty interesting. I think Yaro Starak was one of the only ones who seemed to have a really good work/life balance.

    Cheers
    Dave Jenyns
  • Very good post. Somehow it always seems impossible to find true balance
  • This is such a great post, Jen! Thanks for taking the time to hash this all out for us! (And you!) I love the way you put that - to 'integrate' your work with your life, that makes so much better sense to me, too! Very helpful! And I love your weekend timer idea, I'm going to have to try that! I've been taking a quiet time out on the balcony every morning - I didn't take the time to do it today. But when I do, my day really goes so much smoother. It's just hard sometimes when I wanna get right to it - to make myself stop and do that.
  • Exhausted and distracted - that is me this weekend for some reason. I try to stay balanced, but sometimes it just gets away from you even when you're actively trying to stay balanced. I like the idea of integrating.... it's a great word to use here!

    I think I will try to better integrate my work life and my home life for a more harmonious existence.

    See, it even sounds smarter when you say it out loud ;)
  • An interesting read. As a stay at home mother to a toddler (2.5) and just weeks away from number two making his arrival, the whole 'balance' issue is weighing quite heavily on my shoulders at the moment.

    I don't feel balanced AT ALL - which for me, balance means spending equal time working as well as interacting and playing with my kids. For the past few months I've literally poured myself into my latest project qhich has resulted in week days of "TV babysitting" more than I'd like, and weekends of daddy taking Miss 2 out so I can work.

    Thankfully that's changed over the past couple of weeks as I refuse to let work rule my life and have made a concious effort to go out as a complete family as well as spend time building block towers and playdoh friends during the week.

    For me to feel balanced means accomplishing my goals and moving forward with my work, while at the same time feeling content that I am giving myself enough to my kids, family and friends. If I can sit down at the end of the day, happy with what I acheived on both fronts, then I am content.
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